As a young girl, naturally life was something I didn't understand. When my preteen/teenage years finally came around I was so lost and confused about everything. I was convinced that everyone  wanted to use my words against me, so I wouldnt talk about the things that really bothered me. With so many questions left unanswered and no one that I could really trust enough to ask, I went searching for myself. What I found were a lot of different places that I could just hide away, believing that I deserved to be alone. I never wanted to be alone though, so I found myself in men. Soon I had no clue who I really was or what I wanted out of life. Shame and embarrassment turned into a severe case of pride. Because of this my hiding places became deeper and darker. I'd wonder at times about what was so wrong with me that I would continue to allow my body to be touched in ways  I really didn't want only to get the affection I longed for. I tried for a long time to control my sexual urges and I mean for a long time. But this was by far the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. Was this all I was worth? All I was good at? I thought so for a long time. But God …….